Patti LaBelle, to Jennifer Hudson: I didn't know you were this nice. I thought you were a bitch.
Shout-out: nydailynews.com
Dan Quayle: It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
Drew Barrymore: I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!
Shout-out: thinkexist.com
Overheard by: You mean a squid?
Pamela Anderson: I want an explosive love affair again.
Shout-out: showbiz.sky.com
Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?
Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.
Shout-out: aarpmagazine.org
Joaquin phoenix: Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something's crawling out of my scalp. No, but I mean I feel it. I'm not worried about the looks, I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten.
Overheard by: krabby patty
Elisabeth Hasselbeck, when asked what the stars on the American flag mean: The original states and colonies.
Overheard by: PuceWoman