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May 2008 Archives
Like I Was Just Now
Patti LaBelle, to Jennifer Hudson: I didn't know you were this nice. I thought you were a bitch.
Shout-out: nydailynews.com
Way to Clear That Up
Dan Quayle: It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
Inking Is Overrated
Drew Barrymore: I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!
Shout-out: thinkexist.com
Overheard by: You mean a squid?
My Vagina Was Built for Pyrotechnics, Baby
Pamela Anderson: I want an explosive love affair again.
Shout-out: showbiz.sky.com
Why I Got Kicked Out of Preschool
Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?
Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.
Shout-out: aarpmagazine.org
Something That Doesn't Exist Can't Be Eaten
Joaquin phoenix: Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something's crawling out of my scalp. No, but I mean I feel it. I'm not worried about the looks, I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten.
Overheard by: krabby patty
No, They Were for the 50 First Prisons Founded in Australia
Elisabeth Hasselbeck, when asked what the stars on the American flag mean: The original states and colonies.
Overheard by: PuceWoman
Categories: Elisabeth Hasselbeck | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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