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April 2007 Archives
But That Burning Sensation Will Wake You Right Up Again
Cyndi Lauper: If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying, and the ramifications of death are final.
Pretty Much Sums It Up
Tara Reid: I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.
Reparations Have Come a Long Way
Naomi Campbell: I look at [modeling] as something I'm doing for black people in general.
--IMDb.com
She Had To -- Tinkerbell's a Bitch Of a Bookie
Paris Hilton: I haven't accepted money from my parents since I was 18... I've done it all on my own, like a hustler.
Right Next to New Zealand
David Hasselhoff, when told that he has five gold albums in Austria: Where's Austria?
Why Not Just Have a Communal Sponge with Professional Hand-lickers Instead Of Sinks?
Sheryl Crow, on suggested toilet paper use: ... Only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.
Shout-out: news.bbc.co.uk
Daddy's Remote Works Like a Charm
Paris Hilton: I don't think; I just walk.
Tastes Like Moonshine
David Hasselhoff: I've got taste. It's inbred in me.
Especially When You Shove It Up Your Asscrack
Elle MacPherson: Underwear is such an emotional thing.
What Happens When Father Time Knocks a Shorty Up
Celine Dion: My child was not only carried by me, but by the universe.
Just South Of the Rack
Christina Aguilera: So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
But They're All Blurry Polaroids... Of My Poonani
Lindsay Lohan: I have a, like, what do you call it? Uh... Oh, yeah -- a photographic memory.
--Interview on MTV
So We Can Afford Me A Educationalism
Ivanka Trump: Nobody [in the family] is doing anything for the sake of being famous. It's all for the sake of raising the price per square foot we're able to get on saleable real estate.
Shout-out: nypost.com
It's Like a Third-World Country for Adoptive Wall-Owners
Paris Hilton: What's Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like, wall stuff?
--vh1.com
Otherwise It Just Wouldn't Be Deep!
Alicia Silverstone: I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.
And Mommy Needs Work!
Kate Beckinsale: This is what's sick about living in LA -- my eight-year-old daughter will point to a woman and say, 'Look! That woman's had too much botox.'
Shout-out: femalefirst.co.uk
Takes a Lot Of Puff to Give a Damn About Flaming Gaseous Masses
Kirsten Dunst: My best friend, Sasha's, dad was Carl Sagan, the astronomer. He was the biggest pot smoker in the world, and he was a genius.
Shout-out: femalefirst.co.uk
The Most Pretentious Sentence Ever
Quentin Tarantino: I've always had a thought maybe that I might have been Shakespeare in another life. I don't really believe that 100%, and I don't really care about Shakespeare, I've never been into Shakespeare, but then people are constantly bringing up all of these qualities in my work that mirror Shakespearean tragedies and moments and themes.
--GQ
Like Elvis
Madonna: I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon... But I want to stay alive.
--UK Daily Mail
Itchy Anti-Gravity in Black, Nude, and Scarlet
English actress Kelly Brook on her new lingerie line: I feel like I'm giving something back to the big-titted community.
Shout-out: femalefirst.co.uk
Keith Richards Is My Anti-Drug
Keith Richards: The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared.
--perezhilton.com
Overheard by: tatiana
Like Godzilla and Phallic Shortcomings -- All Around, It's a Magical Place
Britney Spears: I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't really like eating fish, and I know that's very popular out there in Africa.
--vh1.com
C-to-the-H-to-the-R-I-S-T: Bitch, You Triflin'
Fergie: I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can't take that away from me, 'cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can't sing, it's kind of like insulting God.
Shout-out: allheadlinenews.com
Just Its Weave and Press-ons
Al Gore: A zebra does not change its spots.
--vh1.com
Butt Glue. Lots and Lots Of Butt Glue
John Travolta: I'm wondering if we have to start thinking about other planets, and also domed cities, because I don't know if there's a way to repair these holes in the sky.
Shout-out: postchronicle.com
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