How… Thoughtful.

“Girl Next Door,” Bridget Marquardt, about a small crab: I don’t think he eats [bread] anyways. Too many carbs for him.

–The Girls Next Door

Overheard by: Brunette and loving it

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C-to-the-H-to-the-R-I-S-T: Bitch, You Triflin'

Fergie: I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can’t take that away from me, ’cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can’t sing, it’s kind of like insulting God.

–http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7005536483

Butt Glue. Lots and Lots Of Butt Glue

John Travolta: I’m wondering if we have to start thinking about other planets, and also domed cities, because I don’t know if there’s a way to repair these holes in the sky.

–http://www.postchronicle.com/news/original/article_21271992.shtml

Like Godzilla and Phallic Shortcomings — All Around, It's a Magical Place

Britney Spears: I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don’t really like eating fish, and I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.

–vh1.com

Just Its Weave and Press-ons

Al Gore: A zebra does not change its spots.

–vh1.com

Being an NBA Star Means You Can Pay People to Fail Your Classes for You

Dennis Rodman: Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

That's Hot.

Paris Hilton: I think I have a really great mug shot. It looks like a magazine shoot.

–http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/02/07/paris_hilton_applies_herself_to_harvard/

Overheard by: she really is too much

Keith Richards Is My Anti-Drug

Keith Richards: The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.

–perezhilton.com

Overheard by: tatiana

Lindsay Learns Her Primes: A 60 Minutes Special

Lindsay Lohan: I need a boyfriend, geez. There are three different boys I like. Maybe five.

–GQ magazine